Romans 8:16-17

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory. Romans 8:16-17 (NIV)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Beast...Leashed with Ball and Chain

Arguments happen, inevitable and a part of life, between many who love and many who don’t; why does the bickering become so loud and obnoxious? Health and Wellness would define the trivia as the health dimension of emotion, providing emotions are expressed correctly. Of course this leads to yet more questions: What is the correct emotion of anger? Or is it really anger? Is it a source of unhappiness? Sadly, I can’t answer these questions nor do I believe anyone else can. Each of us is created in the image of God and my understanding of His emotion regarding anger is wrath. Now granted, He tells us vengeance is His therefore such wrath also belongs to Him. He also tells us to not let the sun go down while angry or else the devil will gain a foothold. So He knows anger is a part of us and more questions arise…
When do we sleep? If the argument can’t be solved before the sun goes down and you find yourself in a circle of ongoing anger, if in fact it is anger, then you are headed for depression or anxiety that surely compromises health, as the lack of sleep and unsolved trial continues with each sun rise and sunset. Is it fair to say that righteous anger is not applicable to these situations? Someone may feel they have a righteous anger but that does not mean they view their self as better, perfect or even above another; it simply means they believe God has placed an answer within and the opponent can’t see. The credo one will claim is the foundation in which they take each step. Steps are not always seen by others; many times this is due to reverence for God’s instruction: don’t broadcast what the right hand is doing, if you “glory grab” on earth then you will have already received the reward. The way I understand this is simple, my acceptance comes from God and in my heart I know I’m walking with Him, not perfectly (no one does) so there is no need to broadcast the things I do for Him, regardless of others understanding.  Yes, I would like some recognition here and there because quite honestly its really hard to keep going without it…this may be where pride comes in, the exact opposite of humility. Don’t we all struggle with this?
If humility must play a part in the solution then righteous anger will fester long after the sun goes down, won’t it? What do we do with such emotion (again, is it actually anger?) Let’s pretend it isn’t anger at all…then what is it? Hurt feelings? A lack of self worth? In my case (at least in this stage of the journey), I believe it has everything to do with a caged animal. Anyone who has known me for any period of time would know I’m a prodigal son story over and over again. I’ve been one who fights with the free spirit dwelling within my veins and feeds the bloodstream with adrenalin that only a cage reinforced with steel, rebar, and concrete can remotely contain. It’s what my daughter and I like to refer to as “The Beast”. The Beast can be a source of strength when all seems lost and out of control. Many have tried to tame this beast, but the intellect of an animal is often underestimated. There have many times even I have tried to tame it, thinking God doesn’t like this animal. Come to find out, He does like it and has revealed the animal within, when leashed, can be a soldier for Christ that has no fear or consideration of “overload”. What happens when that leash feels like a ball and chain? This is where I am and no answers seem to be coming…
Square one: Is this anger? If so, is it righteous? If not, then how do I break free of the ball and chain that holds every limb of “The Beast”? Worse yet, what or who is the ball and chain? God, hold me in your hands, look into my heart, and reveal to me the answers I seek, no matter the humility I must face. Amen.

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