Fighting with Humility

The "I Believe" list is a reflection on my perception, not yours!  Well isn't that just dandy? The cycle begins again.  The human race is made of flesh with no discrimination of color, race, origin or sex.  The flesh is something we need to live among the general population, or so I'm told.  I don’t like my flesh nor do I like the constant battle of the devil residing on my left shoulder and an angel whispering on my right. 

Fleshly Desire vs. Holy Spirit, Round Gazillion begins at the crack of dawn for this daughter.  Like many other mornings, there was no fight left in this soldier for Christ.  The Eye of the Tiger adrenalin was left at Busch Stadium the night before as the five hour drive allowed an ample amount of disturbing silence.  The kind of silence that toils your heart and feeds the "whoas me can't anyone hear me?" tears.  "Come on! Really? I'm already tired with no reason to fight. Can't we just block this one out?" was the voice of a neutral bystander; the one that plays both sides of the fence and pushes for the "flight syndrome".  Of course, leave it to Satan.  Just as the flight mode kicked in (aka blaring music), the iPod shuffle fed the flesh and stirred the audience; my sleeping children.  Knowing I was weak with PMS settling in, the gloves were fitting.  Holding back the tears, turning off the tunes and whispering the night loves and warnings of bed bugs was the smell I needed to fight and not flight.  This princess, the angel on my right, is going to win the battle because my daddy can kick your butt!  He taught me well, contrary to what you and your fans may think!  Many rounds were bloody and filled with the whoas me tears but the round where loyal fans leave your side, flesh protruded. 

Much like the interaction between determined Cardinals players and their fans giving up to face the battle of traffic at the bottom of the seventh.  How rude can one be? As if these fans could do any better under the pressure?  Umbrellas up and the partially filled stands roared as the fight continued to the very end.  Bases loaded and the glimpse of victory was all the players needed to walk with their heads high and ready to face the next game.

A five hour battle of the "voices" may or may not have been the best fight and the exhaustion that lingered to the following crack of dawn ended in victory, or at least a promise of it.  Although the morning hours seem to last all day, there were enough glimpses and warning versus floating around via His word and radio broadcasts to keep strength of perseverance flowing.  Humility is not weakness. 

Humility and the pressure it places on real fighters is one that many can not grasp.  The walk with Christ is full of humility.  I believe C.S. Lewis said it best:

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.

My Daddy, aka God, backs it up by saying The first shall be last and the last shall be first (Mark 10:31)

Yours Truly,
A Daughter with The Eye of the Tiger


     

Homeschool? Socially Acceptable...I Think Not!

Unacceptable to the general population, homeschooling has the stereotype of “taboo” among our social health dimension.  The life of a homeschooled student is further misunderstood with the assumption “Is there life out there?”  And “These students won’t be able to face real life”.  According to Merriam‑Webster, life is defined as: the form or pattern of something existing in reality.  The reality facing our children is nothing short of a civil war based on terrorism to a child’s belief of whether they can successfully engage in and execute a specific behavior and ultimately impacting their self esteem.

Parents across the nation share empathy as the increasing rates of suicide, bullying, drug use and teen pregnancy invade our schools.  Both parents and students are impacted by these failings, regardless of the weapons inflicted on our own, close friend of our own or an acquaintance of our child’s social circle.  None the less, we lack the sympathy in the same breath with statements like “I’m thankful it wasn’t my child” or “I’m not letting my child hang out with him/her, they are heading down a wrong path”.  What path do we expect from children?  Are we instilling health and wellness among the next generation?  Or are we leaving the molding factors up to our administrators, many in which mask their own fears within the four walls? All while spiritual health is a forbidden curriculum within a crucial course of survival. The evolution of wellness includes six (6) dimensions with an umbrella concept of mental health. 

 The Spiritual health dimension (a feeling of unity with a greater force and a guiding sense of meaning or value in life) goes well beyond the forbidden word of “religion”.   Spiritual health encompasses a wide variety of factors needed in living a balanced, introspective and meaningful life.  The concept of mental health is widely focused upon throughout our nation as the broad factors of psychosocial health contains the leading causes for one of America’s top complaint, health care and disability.  What does that have to do with our children? Well, depression is the leading cause of disability in the United States as anxiety is the number one health problem, impacting over 40 million people in the U.S.  Now, to give yet another disturbing fact; depression in children is an increasingly reported phenomenon. 

I find it disturbing and simply a form of laziness among parents and the US population to continually complain about disability, the problems within our schools and the increasing costs of health care. What are we, as parents, doing to protect our children?  We are allowing the schools to take a vital part of learning that enables our precious gifts to cope with the reality of life.  The very dimension that teaches self esteem, the kind that is based on balanced, introspective and meaningful inner peace.  Is this because they fear the word “religion” or the possibility God may be brought into the classroom and ultimately impact their career and pocketbook due to a “sue happy” nation?  Don’t allow society to measure your child’s self worth or you just may find yourself as the one others are having empathy on. 

Our choice to home school is nothing short of love and the desire to instill the spiritual dimension and mental health factors we all are terrified of.  To fear or conquer, is the question.  Social dimension isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Our kids are comparing themselves to society’s definition of value.  Aren’t we in the middle of a depression?  Even our country as a whole is suffering from a lack of self worth! Maybe they haven’t been following their credo, In God We Trust….food for thought anyways.   

My Hero

Recently, I had the privelage of answering a DB Post titled "Who is your Hero?" Just another way God works in my life....here is how I responded.

The fall of 2009 I was able to witness a phenomenon of a breast cancer survivor of 13+ years to only encounter another form of cancer.  Not once did she having anything but a "I'm going to beat this" attitude and strength.  She was a wife of noble character.  I refer to these characteristics because of her 60 year marriage to a man who belittled her intelligence and demeaned her English heritage.  Years prior to cancer she suffered from a nervous breakdown forcing her retirement from teaching English.  Throughout those years, many family members would play with her silliness and brush off intellectual conversation with this woman, in hopes they would gain acceptance from her husband.  The last 3 months of fighting Stage 4 of cancer she was blessed with the opportunity of one on one time with her daughter, free from ridicule.  The healing of emotional skeletons, bonding of shared dreams and the experience of a last dying wish were just the highlights of this phenomenon. 

Grandma Marianna Grayston Monsey and my mom, Margie, will forever be my heroes.  One year later, Margie is caring for the man that placed that wedge.  She does this because of the promise she made to her mom, a woman that upheld God's description in Proverbs 31; a wife of noble character.  Marianna, despite the hardships of her generation, was a woman looking for God's acceptance and now has the wings she always dreamed of. 

My empathy for your loss and excitement for the heroism is just the beginning of saying "I'm here on the other side of the screen" when a rough day comes.  Thank you for your heartfelt question and underlined meaning. 

This I believe - Dreams Come True

This I believe to be true….I believe in dreams and as they pertain to prophecy. Wow I just backspaced URG! Ok lets try this again. I had a dream sever no I had a dream when I was in middle school and it was vivd. It was about two girls who looked exactly like my littlew sister. Blonede locks of hair blue eyes smiles like the dinkles you see when laughter is the only thing filling the room. I remember seein having a fear that I couldn’t tell them apart the fear was overwhelming and yea so overwhelming I block it and replace it with the beauty of what it would be like of having two Jamie’s in my life to take care and love. My sister is more to me than I have ever told her does she really know how much she has been my hero? I need to call her and tell her but she wont answer the phone she never answers the phone atleast I know its not me she is not answering but is ibecause she is scared to show what is really going on or is she portraying that monsey blood blold and strong? Is there a further resoning for this dream? Til now I have experienced so many dreams or what most would refer to as dejavu but this dream of a set of twins in which I could not tell apart well I eventually could tell amy and joey apart right? Years later at the age of 24 I gave birth to triplets, ok so my dream a little off but ok I have 4 mins better hurry! Iof those triplets were a set of twin identical fgirls with blonde lockes of curls, blue eyes and one with dinkles the size of my living room! Wow a dream did come trure but only to find out this was the beginning of my dejavus. I left the hospital with their toes painted pink for morgan and purple for McKenzie…I was soooo scared! But remember your blood line….are the monsey’s or now I realize it’s the Grayston blood line that hid the fears, the dreams, the inner desires, the appearance of submissive yet crying out lousd IM AFRAID! Its ok because these girls were a dream come true and I had no idea how to take care of a boy….that fear was for a whole nother dejavue I will expand on later! Ooooo 9 seconds to go and I told the short story well kinda iok now im over the limit….figures!


427 words

This I believe

I believe in God


I believe in the Holy Spirit

I believe in love

I believe in hell

I believe in heaven

I believe in dreams

I believe in prophecy

I believe in my ability to write

I believe I am a good mom

I believe my children love me

I believe my mom

I believe there is a reason for everything

I believe God’s will is better than my own

I believe I confuse His will with my wants

I believe life is more than my current state of mind

I believe friends are not always loyal

I believe I can be selfish

I believe my reflection is stronger than people’s perception

I believe in fear

I believe my wisdom is from God

I believe the Colts will wim the Super Bowl

I believe I will live in Indiana again one day

I believe my motives for wanting to move are not selfish

I believe my family doesn’t understand my heart

I believe life is not without displine

I believe discipline comes from God

I believe I have learned my lesson, for now

I believe I am in touch with His will more than others realize

I believe my heart has been broken too many times to count

I belive education is the key to the next phase in my life

I believe college will open doors I am scared of

I believe in my intelligence

I believe in perserverance

I believe dreams tdo come true

I believe in happy ever after

I believe our inner desires are of both flesh and spirit

I believe in grey areas

I believe Chrisitianity is the one on one relationship with God

I believe one day I will be alone

I believe my fears will make me stumble

I believe my fears will also provide insight to the unknown

I believe in the unknown

I believe trust is beyond anyone’s vocabulary

I believe faith is greatly misunderstood

I believe wisdom is even more misunderstood

I believe marriage is the hardest trial in life to succeed at

I believe marriages are a product of codependency

I believe in

(335 words)

My Reflection and Not Your Perception

  Whew! It would have been much easier to have taken this test many many moons ago! It seems my journey in life has been all about finding "me" and who I wanted to be. The journey itself is who I am; a free spirit with a drive of the fast and furious. When the pace was hindered and the cards were dealt, the idleness was the brake pad needed for life to steal this ace of hearts. In short, ENFJ!

Extroversion (33), Intuition (50), Feeling (60), Judging (11) are the results of The Jung Typology Test. Basically, this is my personality type. Hands down, royal flush, pedal to the metal; It is 100% accurate. It has just taken, oh about 38 years for me to see it for myself and endure the ride, regardless of the transportation methods.

This analysis is a benchmark for my next journey: College. It’s assuring to know the path chosen is in line with the personality classification. Writing, serving others and the entrepreneurial ventures are the core of “what I want to do when I grow up”. I admit, growing up and staying the course has always been a struggle yet now the pros and cons outline is pinned to the wall in black and white. This will be air needed to stay on the track and only stopping when check points demand for it. It’s ok if I’m scared. It’s ok if there are too many “I” in the sentence. The outline of strengths and weaknesses are within my reach and embedded on my heart (strong trait) so the writing will gain momentum, the perseverance of a narrow path will continue and the motto remains: “The first shall be last”